I've never dealt with death or had I even seen a corpse. This is all too surreal for me. Its getting harder and harder to grapple with every day. I'm just trying to make it one day at a time, you know?
I finished one of the Eeby slippers, I am getting further and further in to my k1,p1 scarf. It seems like anything that needs thinking I try to pass on. Its a lot easier to just have one repetitive motion to follow. Thinking isn't something I want to try right now.
I imagine what is making this more difficult is that he wasn't sick, this wasn't something any of us "saw coming" I always figured my dad would outlive me, my mom, maybe my sister. I always imagined him as a grandfather and finally having something to be proud at me for...
It just feels like a bad dream.